Good night. Sleep tight.

Tired from over-socializing.
Small conversations over alcohol.
Music blaring in the background.
Entertainment tonight.


My mind's been busy.
I try to keep it that way.
Places to go, people to meet, buzzing in the brain.
To keep it from overthinking.

But now I'm worn out from the constant activities.
My brain's shut down.
Now I need to tend to my weary body.
Give it a good rest.

If I only lack a heart..

Yesterday.
I've started on a new journey, the reflection of a new me.
I've learn to laugh and learn that I can be happy.
My new activities, social circle, a new me who moved on.
Not a single thought of you, not a single concern, not a single worry or doubt.
No excitement that I've had with you but at the same time no tears.
I'm a much happier me.
You were out of the picture.

Today.
A blinking window of conversation from the unknown.
From an email address I've deleted but can still remember by heart.
A " :)"

Memories, both good and bad flooding back into my memory.

Why is it that every little thing you do move every thought and ignite every memory in me?

Waiting for the day. The day when your spontaneous "hellos" won't affect me so.

You only feel old when you think you're old...

or when your body sends you a sign.

And so I thought I was god. Or rather I thought I was somewhat in an immortal state these past few weekends full of late night adventures pouring into my system the dangerous dark brown liquids and dancing the night away like I'll never dance again.

I've been constantly ignoring the signs sent out from my body, the weariness at work and constant lack of focus in what I do. My braincells or rather the lack of.

This Tuesday, my body just shut down. I woke up with a fire blazing in my throat and the continuous throbbing in my bed. I couldn't get up so I had to take leave. Downed myself with all medicine I could find (for sorethroat, fever, headache- u name it, i took it) and fell onto my deathbed like Sleeping Beauty, only waking up twice for lunch and dinner and to gobble up some more medicine.

The wonders of modern science!!! (or was it the Chinese tablets that worked?- I'll never know) The sore throat was gone the next day and I could head back to work. Only think left was the drowsiness from over medicating myself. (If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be a doctor this life - seriously...)

So anyways, I don't know if presently my body is still drowsy from all these med intake or is it just tired from over partying on the weekends. I guess I'll have to find out tomorrow night! Toodle-loo...

A step back, a thought clearer.

Head filled with fantasies of ravaged sheets and words of seduction.
Trying to master the art of falsies.
Forced to let go of music for it's time to listen to the sounds of the world.
Fingers switching from them blood reds to frosty pinks.
Wearing my newly acquired Havaianas to work- seriously.
Retro Tech. N- 7210 Super Nova with hidden cute pink stars inside. (it’s true!)
Carefree. Goth star. Lolita in the making. Silhouette of temptation.
The clouds are forming. The sky is darkening.

Pace yourself, dear, for yet another season of change.
Try to keep up with The DQ.

Remember.

Lady Gaga to the Great Nat King Cole.
Malcolm Gladwell to Cecelia Ahern.
Gucci to JJ.
Maguro to Spicy Papaya Salad.
Sailing to singing.
Hoegaarden to Moet.
Modern chic to Gothic lolita.
Long & wavey to slanted straight bob.
Bitchiness to virtue.
Socialite to Reflection.
All me.

Diverse background with various interest.
Interested in a lot of things.
Able to pull many off.

I just have to keep remembering that I'm capable of all this.
I have to remind myself: If I am capable of being all of this, I am capable of being happy.

My Loves...

Moffatts, Hanson, BoyzIIMen, Gil, Another Level, LFO, Kavana, Jessica Simpson, M2M, N'Sync, BSB, Joe, Aaron Carter, Westlife, A1, 5ive, Blue, Bewitched, BroSis ....


I love you all.

Thank you for giving me energy and this ridiculous grin I have on right now listening to you guys.

Lesson of the Month: July

“พอใจ…ไม่อยากได้”

สิ่งที่คนเราต้องตัดลงให้มากในทุกวันนี้คือความอยาก

ทั้งอยากได้ อยากมี อยากเป็น ยิ่งอยากสุขก็จะยิ่งทุกข์

เพียงรู้จักพอ ความสุข ความสงบ จะเดินเข้ามาหาเราเอง

Desire is something that need to be ridden of,

the desire to want, the desire to have, the desire to be,

The desire to be happy will only lead to sorrow.
If we learn to be satisfied, happiness and peace will come to us.