Boys are like chocolate
Leaving you insane
To take that first bite
But knowing you have nothing to gain
Except for the aftermath
Of what you have to do,
To get rid of that pimple
And the extra weight too.
You savour the moment
When you feel the rush
Of joy inside.
But after the magic takes place,
The side effect you have to hid.
The break out, the fat, the extra weight
you've put on.
Hoping you never did touch that chocolate
In the first place, hoping it was gone
Chocolate is magical,
a dessert to paridise.
But boys on the other hand.
That, you should think twice.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Realisation of the Self : A Poem resurrected from 2000
If life has a presence, a shadow cast over me
A ship traveling blind, raging out to sea
If life knows of friendship, navigating alone by the stars
This soulless adventurer slowly drifting afar.
If life has a sound, that of an intricate tune
A breath of the end, starting simply too soon.
The pulse of a heartbeat of one with no name
If life had a conscience, guilt with no shame.
Restrained of emotions, various depths of the sea
If life has a soul, its paid laid out for me,
Waiting for dawn, a sunrise never to come
Mirrors of self reflection, shattered and numb.
Dreams of new hopes and beginnings creeped into mind
Thoughts of existence reversed as each path unwinds
If life can cast magic, appearances disappear
No mind, body or soul - neither one there nor here.
A knot pitted against my stomach
Sight of nothingness, just staring at black
Freedom - the moment when I can be just me
Unleashed and broken from life - I'm never turning back.
A ship traveling blind, raging out to sea
If life knows of friendship, navigating alone by the stars
This soulless adventurer slowly drifting afar.
If life has a sound, that of an intricate tune
A breath of the end, starting simply too soon.
The pulse of a heartbeat of one with no name
If life had a conscience, guilt with no shame.
Restrained of emotions, various depths of the sea
If life has a soul, its paid laid out for me,
Waiting for dawn, a sunrise never to come
Mirrors of self reflection, shattered and numb.
Dreams of new hopes and beginnings creeped into mind
Thoughts of existence reversed as each path unwinds
If life can cast magic, appearances disappear
No mind, body or soul - neither one there nor here.
A knot pitted against my stomach
Sight of nothingness, just staring at black
Freedom - the moment when I can be just me
Unleashed and broken from life - I'm never turning back.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
searching for a new alias
i've stopped writing (or rambling or babbling or whatever i'm doing on this blog).
i don't expect anybody to read it. actually i don't think i want anybody to read it.
i've missed writing. although i only ramble or complain or do what i do on this, it helps me get a lot out of my chest ninety percent of the time.
i think a lot. i analyze a lot so at times, it really helps that i can just go on writing on this. i guess it's like a security blanket for me.
i used to feel that i need to write about something "interesting" or "exciting" and to help provide those content, i need to excite myself with a little drama. wrong move. i'm jumped from xanga (started blogging since 2003) to blogspot so i can show a more "grown up version" of myself. needless to say, the "serious" blogging came to a halt and the ramblings came up again. i guess it's just who i am. i have to think hard to write about "event" and "things" but it comes naturally for me to write how i "feel" and what i "think" about certain things.
so many i should just rename my blog from "spotted by the DQ" to "ramblings of the DQ" instead. on the other hand, maybe i should just create a new alias now...since "the DQ" is no where near any drama. she has retired from that era some time ago...
so should it be "ramblings of her" ? need to think about this new name....
everybody who have come across my username "theDQ" on BB etc have been questioning me what it stood for and when they found out questioned why since i'm so drama-free. guess the DQ grew up a bit.
i don't expect anybody to read it. actually i don't think i want anybody to read it.
i've missed writing. although i only ramble or complain or do what i do on this, it helps me get a lot out of my chest ninety percent of the time.
i think a lot. i analyze a lot so at times, it really helps that i can just go on writing on this. i guess it's like a security blanket for me.
i used to feel that i need to write about something "interesting" or "exciting" and to help provide those content, i need to excite myself with a little drama. wrong move. i'm jumped from xanga (started blogging since 2003) to blogspot so i can show a more "grown up version" of myself. needless to say, the "serious" blogging came to a halt and the ramblings came up again. i guess it's just who i am. i have to think hard to write about "event" and "things" but it comes naturally for me to write how i "feel" and what i "think" about certain things.
so many i should just rename my blog from "spotted by the DQ" to "ramblings of the DQ" instead. on the other hand, maybe i should just create a new alias now...since "the DQ" is no where near any drama. she has retired from that era some time ago...
so should it be "ramblings of her" ? need to think about this new name....
everybody who have come across my username "theDQ" on BB etc have been questioning me what it stood for and when they found out questioned why since i'm so drama-free. guess the DQ grew up a bit.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
non-dramatic drama.
bungee jumping, promoted, got myself a little darling chihuahua (Moet!), beach trip on its way.
a little demotivated at work. felt like being underpaid and undervalued.
a little bored a home. a little patience. a little loving. some tough loving needed (?)
i find that i operate better when i have time to love. devoting myself to little Moet who does not seem to be anywhere near to potty training. she smells because we can't give her a shower for a week due to vaccination.
i don't know what i'm doing.
a little demotivated at work. felt like being underpaid and undervalued.
a little bored a home. a little patience. a little loving. some tough loving needed (?)
i find that i operate better when i have time to love. devoting myself to little Moet who does not seem to be anywhere near to potty training. she smells because we can't give her a shower for a week due to vaccination.
i don't know what i'm doing.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Juggling between career and family
I've faced many incidents when I had to try to justify my decision and explain why I've decide to focus on being a career-oriented woman.
Due to technology, background and many other factors, the roles of women and men have shifted and merged in the modern society, creating a jumble of confusion and complexities when it comes to dating and seeking for partnership today.
Men have become weaker, more self absorbed, emotional and sensitive and less of a gentleman. The need to protect the weaker sex have vanished.
Women, on the other hand, have risen in terms of career, holding high flying jobs, have become more independent, self-serving and stronger.
When the weak have lessen, the need for the protector also disappears.
Women used to be the caretaker of the family while men provide. These days, women are strong enough to take care of herself in addition to her own family.
Men are not given the chance to be gentlemen for women do not act like ladies.
While given the option to focus on family or their career, most women in the modern society would choose the latter for many reasons. To possess the ability to stand on their own feet? To prove that they can also make it in this world? To provide a back up plan for maybe one day maybe she won't meet the right partner to start a family? Or just a back up plan in case that partnership does not survive?
I've always been focused on making it on my own and depending on myself due to my family background and the environment I grew up in. But if I could choose, I would gladly sacrifice my career and the want to have to rise and succeed in work to have a happy family and stay at home just to raise my kids.
Due to technology, background and many other factors, the roles of women and men have shifted and merged in the modern society, creating a jumble of confusion and complexities when it comes to dating and seeking for partnership today.
Men have become weaker, more self absorbed, emotional and sensitive and less of a gentleman. The need to protect the weaker sex have vanished.
Women, on the other hand, have risen in terms of career, holding high flying jobs, have become more independent, self-serving and stronger.
When the weak have lessen, the need for the protector also disappears.
Women used to be the caretaker of the family while men provide. These days, women are strong enough to take care of herself in addition to her own family.
Men are not given the chance to be gentlemen for women do not act like ladies.
While given the option to focus on family or their career, most women in the modern society would choose the latter for many reasons. To possess the ability to stand on their own feet? To prove that they can also make it in this world? To provide a back up plan for maybe one day maybe she won't meet the right partner to start a family? Or just a back up plan in case that partnership does not survive?
I've always been focused on making it on my own and depending on myself due to my family background and the environment I grew up in. But if I could choose, I would gladly sacrifice my career and the want to have to rise and succeed in work to have a happy family and stay at home just to raise my kids.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
June: Activity Month
Starting to spend money again but not afraid to spend it. For the last few months, I've been scared to spend the money I earn in fear of not being able to save.
Booked myself for dinner with some friends tonight and tomorrow night in addition to Rock Climbing on Saturday with my sissy poo.
I want to get hair extensions but that would mean $$$$ again but right now can't I do what I want to do? I have put away an amount of last month's salary into the bank already so yeah....><
Things I want to do this month.
-Watch Sex and the City 2.
-Watch Iron man 2.
-Watch Prince of Persia.
-Get hair extensions.
-Rock climbing session.
-Meet up more with my friends.
-Do a beach trip to Pranburi to chill.
-Karaoke.
-Les D'z sleepover and facial night.
I just need a month full of activities, hopefully to exhaust me so I can fall asleep on my bed and not think too much.
Booked myself for dinner with some friends tonight and tomorrow night in addition to Rock Climbing on Saturday with my sissy poo.
I want to get hair extensions but that would mean $$$$ again but right now can't I do what I want to do? I have put away an amount of last month's salary into the bank already so yeah....><
Things I want to do this month.
-Watch Sex and the City 2.
-Watch Iron man 2.
-Watch Prince of Persia.
-Get hair extensions.
-Rock climbing session.
-Meet up more with my friends.
-Do a beach trip to Pranburi to chill.
-Karaoke.
-Les D'z sleepover and facial night.
I just need a month full of activities, hopefully to exhaust me so I can fall asleep on my bed and not think too much.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
tired
I'm tired.
Want to give up everything.
Wants to run away from everything.
With nobody else.
Just me.
I hate depending on people.
And when I'm disappointed.
If its just me, the only person who can disappoint me is me.
Want to give up everything.
Wants to run away from everything.
With nobody else.
Just me.
I hate depending on people.
And when I'm disappointed.
If its just me, the only person who can disappoint me is me.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Words and Thoughts
You told me you like the chase.
What if I feel like chasing too ... what do I do?
You say you like my independence.
What if I want to depend on you some times...what do I say?
You have no reaction when I say I'm going out.
I know you don't want to go out but sometimes I want you to...how can I tell you that?
Words coming from my mouth and thoughts running through my head.
They're crashing into each other.
What will happen when you find out I'm not who you think I am.
I'm not as cold blooded as I say.
I'm not as independent as you think.
I'm just trying to hold on to a piece of you in any way I can.
What if I feel like chasing too ... what do I do?
You say you like my independence.
What if I want to depend on you some times...what do I say?
You have no reaction when I say I'm going out.
I know you don't want to go out but sometimes I want you to...how can I tell you that?
Words coming from my mouth and thoughts running through my head.
They're crashing into each other.
What will happen when you find out I'm not who you think I am.
I'm not as cold blooded as I say.
I'm not as independent as you think.
I'm just trying to hold on to a piece of you in any way I can.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Good night. Sleep tight.
Tired from over-socializing.
Small conversations over alcohol.
Music blaring in the background.
Entertainment tonight.
My mind's been busy.
I try to keep it that way.
Places to go, people to meet, buzzing in the brain.
To keep it from overthinking.
But now I'm worn out from the constant activities.
My brain's shut down.
Now I need to tend to my weary body.
Give it a good rest.
Small conversations over alcohol.
Music blaring in the background.
Entertainment tonight.
My mind's been busy.
I try to keep it that way.
Places to go, people to meet, buzzing in the brain.
To keep it from overthinking.
But now I'm worn out from the constant activities.
My brain's shut down.
Now I need to tend to my weary body.
Give it a good rest.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
If I only lack a heart..
Yesterday.
I've started on a new journey, the reflection of a new me.
I've learn to laugh and learn that I can be happy.
My new activities, social circle, a new me who moved on.
Not a single thought of you, not a single concern, not a single worry or doubt.
No excitement that I've had with you but at the same time no tears.
I'm a much happier me.
You were out of the picture.
Today.
A blinking window of conversation from the unknown.
From an email address I've deleted but can still remember by heart.
A " :)"
Memories, both good and bad flooding back into my memory.
Why is it that every little thing you do move every thought and ignite every memory in me?
Waiting for the day. The day when your spontaneous "hellos" won't affect me so.
I've started on a new journey, the reflection of a new me.
I've learn to laugh and learn that I can be happy.
My new activities, social circle, a new me who moved on.
Not a single thought of you, not a single concern, not a single worry or doubt.
No excitement that I've had with you but at the same time no tears.
I'm a much happier me.
You were out of the picture.
Today.
A blinking window of conversation from the unknown.
From an email address I've deleted but can still remember by heart.
A " :)"
Memories, both good and bad flooding back into my memory.
Why is it that every little thing you do move every thought and ignite every memory in me?
Waiting for the day. The day when your spontaneous "hellos" won't affect me so.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
You only feel old when you think you're old...
or when your body sends you a sign.
And so I thought I was god. Or rather I thought I was somewhat in an immortal state these past few weekends full of late night adventures pouring into my system the dangerous dark brown liquids and dancing the night away like I'll never dance again.
I've been constantly ignoring the signs sent out from my body, the weariness at work and constant lack of focus in what I do. My braincells or rather the lack of.
This Tuesday, my body just shut down. I woke up with a fire blazing in my throat and the continuous throbbing in my bed. I couldn't get up so I had to take leave. Downed myself with all medicine I could find (for sorethroat, fever, headache- u name it, i took it) and fell onto my deathbed like Sleeping Beauty, only waking up twice for lunch and dinner and to gobble up some more medicine.
The wonders of modern science!!! (or was it the Chinese tablets that worked?- I'll never know) The sore throat was gone the next day and I could head back to work. Only think left was the drowsiness from over medicating myself. (If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be a doctor this life - seriously...)
So anyways, I don't know if presently my body is still drowsy from all these med intake or is it just tired from over partying on the weekends. I guess I'll have to find out tomorrow night! Toodle-loo...
And so I thought I was god. Or rather I thought I was somewhat in an immortal state these past few weekends full of late night adventures pouring into my system the dangerous dark brown liquids and dancing the night away like I'll never dance again.
I've been constantly ignoring the signs sent out from my body, the weariness at work and constant lack of focus in what I do. My braincells or rather the lack of.
This Tuesday, my body just shut down. I woke up with a fire blazing in my throat and the continuous throbbing in my bed. I couldn't get up so I had to take leave. Downed myself with all medicine I could find (for sorethroat, fever, headache- u name it, i took it) and fell onto my deathbed like Sleeping Beauty, only waking up twice for lunch and dinner and to gobble up some more medicine.
The wonders of modern science!!! (or was it the Chinese tablets that worked?- I'll never know) The sore throat was gone the next day and I could head back to work. Only think left was the drowsiness from over medicating myself. (If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be a doctor this life - seriously...)
So anyways, I don't know if presently my body is still drowsy from all these med intake or is it just tired from over partying on the weekends. I guess I'll have to find out tomorrow night! Toodle-loo...
Monday, August 10, 2009
A step back, a thought clearer.
Head filled with fantasies of ravaged sheets and words of seduction.
Trying to master the art of falsies.
Forced to let go of music for it's time to listen to the sounds of the world.
Fingers switching from them blood reds to frosty pinks.
Wearing my newly acquired Havaianas to work- seriously.
Retro Tech. N- 7210 Super Nova with hidden cute pink stars inside. (it’s true!)
Carefree. Goth star. Lolita in the making. Silhouette of temptation.
The clouds are forming. The sky is darkening.
Pace yourself, dear, for yet another season of change.
Try to keep up with The DQ.
Trying to master the art of falsies.
Forced to let go of music for it's time to listen to the sounds of the world.
Fingers switching from them blood reds to frosty pinks.
Wearing my newly acquired Havaianas to work- seriously.
Retro Tech. N- 7210 Super Nova with hidden cute pink stars inside. (it’s true!)
Carefree. Goth star. Lolita in the making. Silhouette of temptation.
The clouds are forming. The sky is darkening.
Pace yourself, dear, for yet another season of change.
Try to keep up with The DQ.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Remember.
Lady Gaga to the Great Nat King Cole.
Malcolm Gladwell to Cecelia Ahern.
Gucci to JJ.
Maguro to Spicy Papaya Salad.
Sailing to singing.
Hoegaarden to Moet.
Modern chic to Gothic lolita.
Long & wavey to slanted straight bob.
Bitchiness to virtue.
Socialite to Reflection.
All me.
Diverse background with various interest.
Interested in a lot of things.
Able to pull many off.
I just have to keep remembering that I'm capable of all this.
I have to remind myself: If I am capable of being all of this, I am capable of being happy.
Malcolm Gladwell to Cecelia Ahern.
Gucci to JJ.
Maguro to Spicy Papaya Salad.
Sailing to singing.
Hoegaarden to Moet.
Modern chic to Gothic lolita.
Long & wavey to slanted straight bob.
Bitchiness to virtue.
Socialite to Reflection.
All me.
Diverse background with various interest.
Interested in a lot of things.
Able to pull many off.
I just have to keep remembering that I'm capable of all this.
I have to remind myself: If I am capable of being all of this, I am capable of being happy.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My Loves...
Moffatts, Hanson, BoyzIIMen, Gil, Another Level, LFO, Kavana, Jessica Simpson, M2M, N'Sync, BSB, Joe, Aaron Carter, Westlife, A1, 5ive, Blue, Bewitched, BroSis ....
I love you all.
Thank you for giving me energy and this ridiculous grin I have on right now listening to you guys.
I love you all.
Thank you for giving me energy and this ridiculous grin I have on right now listening to you guys.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Lesson of the Month: July
“พอใจ…ไม่อยากได้”
สิ่งที่คนเราต้องตัดลงให้มากในทุกวันนี้คือความอยาก
ทั้งอยากได้ อยากมี อยากเป็น ยิ่งอยากสุขก็จะยิ่งทุกข์
เพียงรู้จักพอ ความสุข ความสงบ จะเดินเข้ามาหาเราเอง
Desire is something that need to be ridden of,
the desire to want, the desire to have, the desire to be,
The desire to be happy will only lead to sorrow.
If we learn to be satisfied, happiness and peace will come to us.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Heat and Gowns, Gardens and Stilettos...
I came across photos of some wedding a the countryside, with garden of grass and little bits of flowers here and there... and the sad thing about it was this...
Everybody was still dressed to the nines in the heat.. with stilettos (see them get stuck in the dirt), tiny tube dresses and full tuxedos. Even the bride was in full bridal attire... but okay it's the bride.
It just pains me to see that despite the relax environment, the wedding didnt seem relax at all (well, in my opinion).
If I had a garden wedding, I'd want everybody to come in sundresses, a nice shirt/ slacks, something well-groomed but not so contricting in this heat. Wedges would be nice (note: never wear stilettos for a garden, wedges will do)
If I was the bride, I would look for a nice ivory poofy sundress (those of the lolita sort) and pair of white ribbon wedges, put my hair up in a nice wavey ponytail (if it's long) or short waves (if it's short), pair of pearl earrings. ..
Well, that'd be my idea of a garden wedding... Let's not forget the other 5 types I'd like..
Everybody was still dressed to the nines in the heat.. with stilettos (see them get stuck in the dirt), tiny tube dresses and full tuxedos. Even the bride was in full bridal attire... but okay it's the bride.
It just pains me to see that despite the relax environment, the wedding didnt seem relax at all (well, in my opinion).
If I had a garden wedding, I'd want everybody to come in sundresses, a nice shirt/ slacks, something well-groomed but not so contricting in this heat. Wedges would be nice (note: never wear stilettos for a garden, wedges will do)
If I was the bride, I would look for a nice ivory poofy sundress (those of the lolita sort) and pair of white ribbon wedges, put my hair up in a nice wavey ponytail (if it's long) or short waves (if it's short), pair of pearl earrings. ..
Well, that'd be my idea of a garden wedding... Let's not forget the other 5 types I'd like..
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Anything I'm Not
-Lenka
Gimme a break , A little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new and different
Anything I'm not, I'm not...
I will never be, I will never be you
No, I will always be, I will always be me
That I know but oh
Even though I'm happy being me
I want to get away from all this harsh reality
Oh......
Gimme a break , A little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free
I wanna be new and different
Anything I'm not, I'm not...
I will never be, I will never be you
No, I will always be, I will always be me
That I know but oh
Even though I'm happy being me
I want to get away from all this harsh reality
Oh......
Saturday, June 20, 2009
When the magic is over...
Clubbing past
I will stick to leaving the party at midnight like my other
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Knotted..
I have a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach. Not the good kind...
But it will go away. I have to make it.
---edit---
music makes everything better.
But it will go away. I have to make it.
---edit---
music makes everything better.
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