I Love My SKINNY GENES!

I love my super skinny genes,
I feel so fabulous, tall and lean,
They go with everything I wear,
From Funky tees to crazy hair.

My skinny genes never let me down,
On days of laughter or of frowns,
The look I can wear from day to night,
Fantastic on me, they always look right.

But with skinny genes, people envy you,
They make other people sad and blue,
We still look smashing after snacking at one,
Compared to other people who have had none.

From instant noodles to curry rice,
Wake up the next morning still looking nice.
We're so lucky because special are we,
Because talk of fat or dieting, that's not for me.

Those skinny genes are the talk of the town,
Bigger hit than Gucci or the Vera Wang gown.
Only for special people, it's one of a kind,
And these skinny genes, they're uniquely mines.

How or where to get them, people are amazed,
They go on searching and (dieting) for days,
But these genes are made for the privileged ones,
Not only for me, but look around, they're tons.

You'll find them in your office or the department store,
All these awesome looking people you amazingly adore,
Lean, poised and graceful as figurines,
Possessing the figure you only did in your teens.

And then by golly you've figured it out,
"They've got the skinny genes!" you wanted to shout,
No matter what these people shove down their throat,
They always look so skinny, they never seem to bloat.

There's a group of fake skinnies, you see it in their face,
Their head to body ratio might have been misplaced.
Real skinnies don't have to watch what they eat.
They stuff themselves full at lunch; an hour later they can repeat!

You are what you eat...Literally!

WARNING:
This blog entry is "N-Rated" (nasty).
May contain very strong smell or offensive content, strong explicit description, very strong gore or disturbing images, or graphical fruit abuse.

So I ran to the bathroom this morning to do a #2. While I was in my comfort zone and finally had some peace to my digestive system, I was suddenly wondering if my aunt got a new brand of air refreshener. Imagine if you were used to the surroundings of your own little corner and you take one whiff and knew something was wrong. My mind was racing all over the pace, my adrenalin russhing, my heart pounding.... "Did my aunt get an orange scented can of air refreshener?...Do they even have that in the market?" I took another whiff...definitely orange. My mind took a step back. Knowing my aunt, she was not the type to spontaneously experiment on a new brand of toiletries...or any product. Something was definitely wrong!!

Suddenly, it all dawned on me...the portion of oranges I had last night before going to bed...

This was not the making of my aunt's new air refreshener. It was my #2 releasing this orange fragrance. Thus you just found the rationale for why you nearly died in the potty after your large curry feast. If you want to drive away your enemy, eat some garlic/curry/heavy scented food and run to use the bathroom before them.

If you're feeling spotty and want to save up on air refreshener, just have some orange!

-much Love.

Images from Deviant Art user: oranjisama