Juggling between career and family

I've faced many incidents when I had to try to justify my decision and explain why I've decide to focus on being a career-oriented woman.

Due to technology, background and many other factors, the roles of women and men have shifted and merged in the modern society, creating a jumble of confusion and complexities when it comes to dating and seeking for partnership today.

Men have become weaker, more self absorbed, emotional and sensitive and less of a gentleman. The need to protect the weaker sex have vanished.

Women, on the other hand, have risen in terms of career, holding high flying jobs, have become more independent, self-serving and stronger.

When the weak have lessen, the need for the protector also disappears.

Women used to be the caretaker of the family while men provide. These days, women are strong enough to take care of herself in addition to her own family.

Men are not given the chance to be gentlemen for women do not act like ladies.

While given the option to focus on family or their career, most women in the modern society would choose the latter for many reasons. To possess the ability to stand on their own feet? To prove that they can also make it in this world? To provide a back up plan for maybe one day maybe she won't meet the right partner to start a family? Or just a back up plan in case that partnership does not survive?

I've always been focused on making it on my own and depending on myself due to my family background and the environment I grew up in. But if I could choose, I would gladly sacrifice my career and the want to have to rise and succeed in work to have a happy family and stay at home just to raise my kids.

June: Activity Month

Starting to spend money again but not afraid to spend it. For the last few months, I've been scared to spend the money I earn in fear of not being able to save.
Booked myself for dinner with some friends tonight and tomorrow night in addition to Rock Climbing on Saturday with my sissy poo.

I want to get hair extensions but that would mean $$$$ again but right now can't I do what I want to do? I have put away an amount of last month's salary into the bank already so yeah....><

Things I want to do this month.

-Watch Sex and the City 2.
-Watch Iron man 2.
-Watch Prince of Persia.
-Get hair extensions.
-Rock climbing session.
-Meet up more with my friends.
-Do a beach trip to Pranburi to chill.
-Karaoke.
-Les D'z sleepover and facial night.

I just need a month full of activities, hopefully to exhaust me so I can fall asleep on my bed and not think too much.

tired

I'm tired.
Want to give up everything.
Wants to run away from everything.
With nobody else.
Just me.
I hate depending on people.
And when I'm disappointed.
If its just me, the only person who can disappoint me is me.

< /3

Half of my heart's got a grip of the situation.
Half of my heart takes time....

Words and Thoughts

You told me you like the chase.
What if I feel like chasing too ... what do I do?

You say you like my independence.
What if I want to depend on you some times...what do I say?

You have no reaction when I say I'm going out.
I know you don't want to go out but sometimes I want you to...how can I tell you that?

Words coming from my mouth and thoughts running through my head.
They're crashing into each other.

What will happen when you find out I'm not who you think I am.

I'm not as cold blooded as I say.

I'm not as independent as you think.

I'm just trying to hold on to a piece of you in any way I can.